Over the past few months, the Live Well Learn Well Team have been exploring what contributes to a greater sense of wellbeing and overall happiness. We’ve been using the findings from the Little Book of Lykke, by Meik Wiking, as a framework to explore how we can create a life which is conducive to positive mental health and higher levels of satisfaction. So far, we have discussed the topics of health and money, and this month we’ll be exploring the role of Togetherness….

Togetherness

In the Little Book of Lykke, Wiking recalls one of his earliest memories of happiness and identifies a sense of community and belonging as integral components to his feeling of happiness. Wiking then goes on to explain what can help to create this sense of togetherness, highlighting rituals of food and fire, investing in your community and the quality of your relationships and social support as vital to boosting your sense of togetherness and thus your overall wellbeing.

Rituals of Food & Fire

Wiking argues that food and fire bring people together, stating that “…sharing food nurtures more than our physical body. It feeds our friendships, bolsters our bonds and nourishes our sense of community” and he advises us to “eat like the French- create rituals of food and fire” by making mealtimes into a time for slowing down, creating ambiance and connecting with others.

Now, as a UoC Student with a busy schedule and limited funds, we’re not advising you to start cooking fancy meals like Coq au Vin Blanc or light bonfires on campus (I’m not sure the Accommodation Team would be best pleased!) but there are some budget-friendly (and safe) ways to help you to make more of your mealtimes to help foster a sense of community…

• Picnic in the local park. Why not arrange a picnic with your classmates, flat mates or anyone who you’d like to spend a bit more time with? Grab a blanket, a couple of baguettes and various ‘picky bits’ and find a beautiful spot by a river, in a meadow or maybe just on campus to settle in and soak up some summer sunshine.
• If you’re living in halls, why not do a weekly shared meal night, where you take it in turns to cook for the flat. It can be a point in your week to all come together around the table and catch-up.
• Host a dinner party. Light some candles (or get some electric ones if you’re living in halls) to create a sense of occasion and invite your loved ones around for an evening of food, fun and laughter. Try to take time over your meal and focus on being present with the food, the atmosphere and the good company.

Invest in your Community

Wiking is an advocate of the importance of community spirit. In a society where often individualism rules, it can be difficult to feel a true sense of community and belonging. Additionally, University can cause feelings of loneliness and isolation at times, therefore it’s important to find ways to connect with others and feel part of something…

• A first port of call is looking at what opportunities are available via the Student’s Union. There are an array of clubs, groups and societies at UoC, as well as opportunities to volunteer.
• Create a book swapping area. This could be in the communal space in halls, in a space outside your home (although make sure it’s weatherproof) or, if you’re a distance learner wanting to connect with others on your course, why not set-up a Padlet which recommends various books to one another.
• Look at what’s on in your local area. Your local community centre is a great place to start. They often offer a range of clubs, groups and local initiatives that you can get involved in.

Nourish your Relationships

It’s no surprise that those with friends and family who they can trust and rely on in times of need are generally happier.

Wiking argues that in society today, with the dominance of technology, it can be harder than ever to create and maintain meaningful relationships.

Wiking states, ‘So, people want to belong, but they are not exactly sure how to make it happen. This challenge has become even bigger with the advance of technology. We are connecting like never before, yet we still feel alone… we find that people who reduce their consumption of social media are happier and connect more in the real world.’

So, how can you put down your phone and invest in quality time with loved ones?

• Limit your social media consumption, e.g. try uninstalling social media Mon-Fri or limit your consumption to an hour per day or less.
• Replace scrolling with something more nourishing and sociable such as going for a walk with friends, playing a board game or going for a coffee.
• Create phone free zones. Maybe you have a phone ban at the dinner table or in a comfy nook of your home, helping you to be more connected with your family and friends when sitting in those areas.

We hope that this blog has encouraged you to implement just one or two of these tips to help you create an improved sense of togetherness in your day-to-day life.

For more ways to improve your happiness levels, look out for our next blog which will be exploring the theme of kindness.

references

Meik Wiking (2017). The little book of lykke : the Danish search for the world’s happiest people. London: Penguin Life.

By Tessa, Mental Health & Wellbeing Manager